A temporary respite from the Game Park occurred when we decided to visit Swaziland, and travel south through this land locked home of the Zulu’s. The respite lasted exactly 4 hours as we pulled in to the Milange game park (no lions).

The fact that there were no predators made the simple pleasure of walking a feasible option, and we had a really enjoyable 4 mile hike around the various trails in the park. We just had to keep an eye out for Hippo and Crocodiles but the rest of the animals were really not scared of us at all, and we were able to get much closer than in a car when they all run off if you are within 20 feet.

Swaziland is much poorer than South Africa and so it is back to mud huts again, but the people are very friendly and all speak English, and crucially the roads are ok. So it was off to another Game Park (no lions) at Hlane Game Reserve. This time we walked all over again but we had to have a guide because the Elephants are fractious at the moment and also there are lots of Rhino. Janet has already upset 2 elephants and it’s not funny when they start to approach you at speed. I won’t say “charge” as that sounds a bit too melodramatic but it is a little bowel loosening when these things come straight for you and there is nowhere to hide except behind your husband.

Our guide however was excellent and hasn’t yet lost a tourist. As we started our walk he said there were just two signals. Hand up meant stop, and fist up meant freeze. We got the fist up when we got too close to two rhino’s, and I have to say it’s really difficult to freeze with a rhino just 10 feet away. We knew however that a rhino can easily outrun our van (top speed in the Kruger 45kph) so flight was useless and we discovered a rhino is practically blind so if you stay still he loses sight of you.

The other thing we found out was that a male rhino marks his territory with huge piles of dung. If you are a female and you defecate on top of his pile it means you want servicing. If you are a male and you want to muscle in on his territory you defecate on top of his pile. The rhino checks every day, and immediately begins to search for the perpetrator, so in Africa the moral is be careful where you defecate as a rhino may come looking for you and if he finds you whether you are a male or a female you are f…k.d.

Out of Swaziland and back into South Africa in a place called Kosi Bay. It’s right up north near the Mozambique border, and famous for its wetlands and its snorkeling. It was definitely a case of the publicity belying the truth as the famous snorkeling delivered some pretty poor and sparse specimens of Indian Ocean fish. From there, into the Hluhluwe Game Park for some more of the same but this time my favourite scenario…there are no gates or fences around the camp so you must just take great care especially at night.

It is just fantastic sitting reading a book while elephants creep up to within a few feet, and if that is not sobering enough try being 10 feet away from a couple of hyenas. Their jaws can easily bite through your arm, although it has to be said that they are more scared of you than the other way round.

I think we’ve seen the lot now, and we are now in a place called St Lucia on the coast gearing ourselves up for the long drive to Cape Town.