The next phase of our journey through South Africa was to visit some of the many battlefields which have taken place here during the Boer War, the Anglo Zulu war and the Afrikaans v Zulu war. To be fair and non racist we visited sites where each lot had won their most famous battle, one that was a draw, and one that was utterly futile.

The first was the first battle of the second Boer War, the battle of Talana near Dundee. Both sides claimed they won it and it is probably best known for having the most irrelevant museum on its site. You can learn how to make beads or hew coal but we couldn’t find out how the battle was won or lost.

The next was the Battle of Blood River where an Afrikaans force of 500 beat around 5000 Zulus and the day of the battle is still a public holiday (now called the Day of Reconciliation) Its memorial is as good as the Battle of Talana was bad with 60 full sized ox wagons, made out of bronze, all circled up cowboy style. The battle site carefully pegged out so you can see where the Zulu’s crept up on them, and where the marshy ground held up their attack.

From there we visited the scene of the most humiliating British defeat against practically the whole Zulu nation at Isandwalana. Although it was 20,000 against 1,000. it was as though Steve MacLaren was in charge, wrong tactics, poor substitutions, and with Calamity James in goal.

So we got a good hiding but the battlefield is strewn with hundreds of white stone cairns all marking graves of the fallen soldiers. Only a few managed to escape and they fled to the safety of a local mission station called Rorkes Drift. This again would have been a Steve MacLaren decision.

This was our next visit as it is only 12k from Isandlawana. Many of you will remember that Rorkes Drift was the place where Michael Caine won a Victoria Cross for gallantry and Ivor Emmanuel kept 4000 Zulu’s at bay simply by singing “Men of Harlech”, a feat that modern Welsh Male voice choirs are capable of achieving against any race of people that claim to be mildly musical. .

Anyway it was a very sobering visit as the mission station, the barricades and the hospital are all accurately re-created. 11 Victoria Crosses were won at the battle where 120 British

Held off 4000 Zulus until they simply packed up and went home. Only 17 British soldiers were killed including about half a dozen who thought they had escaped from Isandlawana.

The battle of pointless futility was the Battle of Spion Kop,(Boer War) where a bloody conflict was fought for several days before both sides decided the position was of no strategic significance and vacated their positions.

We had based ourselves in Dundee, a coal scarred city if ever there was one, for these visits and it was here that our interest in the African sense of humour was re-kindled.

Throughout our trip we have been recording examples of unfortunate names or clever marketing or just Jasper Carrott style of where a word means totally different things in a different language.

A few examples (but we could write a book)

In Uganda we have seen “The Naff Bakery”

In Addis Abbaba we have seen the Dire Supermarket, and the “Awash Bank”

In Kenya next door to each other in Issiolo, stands the Exodus Funeral parlour and the “Wing and a Prayer “building company.

In.Ethiopia we have seen The New Semen Hotel, AND The Old Semen Hotel. No-one is sure which is the better…they say it’s a bit of a toss up

In Dundee they sell “Nazi” toilet paper, so called because it is rough and tough and doesn’t take s*** from anyone. We really wish we had  had the wit to buy a few rolls.

My personal favourite however has to be the sign on the back of a driving school car in Malawi. As well as the big red L sign it said

“Have patience, soon I will be driving like you” I think the irony of this was lost on the driving population of Lilongwe.

Its only a short hop from Dundee into the Drakensberg Mountains, and anyone who thinks it is automatically hot 20 degrees south of the Equator should come here with a couple of brass monkeys.

Although cold at night the daytime temperatue when the sun shines is very pleasant and the scenery magnificent, but also we decided to have a rest from roughing it and stayed in wonderful rustic accommodation amidst lovely walks and waterfalls. In the Drakensberg there is a famous school which selects its students on the basis of their musical talent. Their choir performs regularly for the public, and they have sung for the crowned heads of Europe as they say. Tours to the school were arranged from our hotel but I steadfastly refused to shell out 300 Rands for the tickets and transport even though begged without shame. They say women are sometimes a little devious and Janet thwarted in her aim selected the next site for our tour of the Drakensburg. I was absolutely astounded to find that the camp site was literally next door to the Drakensberg Boys Choir school. I remarked that the odds against this must be in the millions but Janet stayed unusually silent.

So we obviously went to the concert and it was stunning. The music was brilliant but for me the social and racial integration that was occurring through the medium of music was inspirational

When we had seen every site and climbed every peak,and sung every song the Drakensberg had to offer  then it was back to the coast, to a sleepy chill out place called Scottburgh that had been recommended to us by a couple of 70 year olds in the Drakensberg.

Our timing has never been great on this trip, and we have missed sometimes by only a few days many wonderful events like the migration of the Wildebeest, the sardine frenzy, the parade of the Holy Grail in Ethiopia, but Scottburgh lived up to its reputation for one night. Then we found out the the South African surfing championships were to be held next day with our camp site at the centre. It simply heaved with Beach Boys music and blond adonis’s. The guys were really nice though and showed us how to spot whales and dolphins…there is a trick to it.

Next civilization will be East London.

Add new message | Top Tamin 8th October 2008